"Oyez, Oyez, Oyez!"
Hark ye lost souls seeking to escape the drudgery of your daily toil by visiting this board, for Saturday marks the day of Girls Rock Camp Houston's Christmas Benefit.
Yeah, for on this very Saturday on the eighteenth day of December in the year of our lord two-thousand and ten at 2010 Waugh Drive and a wee pub dubbed Rudyard's ye shall be visited by three spirits. The first, Omotai, shall crush you with unrelenting Christmas spirit of grinding metal. Weep for mercy ye shall from the blur of notes and the groan of hell's vocals. The second spirit goes by the name of The Anarchitex. Culled from the darkest corners of Houston Punk history it's members boast a lineage unparalleled in this dimension. Surely names like the The Pain Teens, Really Red, and Happy Fingers Institute already chill your very soul. Finally, the final and most frightening apparition will appear as the clock tolls the midnight hour. It's dark shadow long feared by mortals, it's terrifying rock visage shunned by humanity, it's sounds...nothing less than pure horror. I speak to you of The Linus Pauling Quartet. At stake is your very soul for their cause is a worthy one - a benefit for young women who simply have one wish for Christmas, one very simple and innocent wish, the kind of wish that children pray for as they fall asleep at night - the dream of ROCKING THE FUCK OUT!
Yeah, in fact there will be no cover at the appointed locale but donations will be taken all night ($7 -$10 but you can give more) and your monetary contribution will help fund musical equipment needs such as instruments - lutes, fifes, bladder pipes, rauschpfeifes, sacbuts - strings, plugs for the ears, amplification systems, materials and supplies for non-musical workshops, and scholarships for families who cannot afford to pay the full tuition to attend the camp.
Therefore, I implore your kind assistance. Grab thine red and gold robe, white breeches, black boots and a tricorne hat, head for the square with thine bell and announce this event from every town square and ask people one simple question, "Old Dirty Bastard was for the children, are you?"
Screaming Lord Highmiddlebottom VonRock and Heavy Friends